Is anyone still there? Does anyone even care? Just as in the year 2001, today is Tuesday, 9/11; on the evening of Thursday, o9/13/2001 the PC(USA), ELCA, UCC and RC churches on this mesa celebrated Eucharist together, celebrated a feast and festival of death and resurrection; the following year on 9/11 I attended a memorial service that included a phenomenal short film by a member of the congregation at one of the churches down the hill from here in Pacific Beach. This morning the early morning channel 10 news showed ceremonies live from Ground Zero, while the local and network evening news made a fair amount of this anniversary, with several clips from then and quite a number from now. On the PC(USA) Presbyterian Bloggers blog Stushie posted another of his beautiful stained glass pieces Never Forget 9-11; I'm sure there have been many blogs, laments and signs of hope throughout today, but Diane's blog, where she quotes Robert Frost's "Fire and Ice," was the first I noticed, because I'd gone there to find out how Scout was doing. All day today has marked another year spent post-911; next September 11 will be the 7th--in ecclesiastical circles we'd call it a Sabbath Year. Does that mean something or does it mean anything at all?
It is too true I've been grieving yet somehow living with and within my own grief that has spun hours and other aspects of most of my days into a kind of time warp, so much so that this noon I wondered "why" about the American flags lining Convoy Street (despite having watched the morning news). The Western world, this nation, cities, families and the world now lives well aware of pre-911 and post-911 ways of being. Sometimes people point out that when you have a toothache, headache, heartache or lifeache, when it's severe enough, logically and almost necessarily that's what you're mostly going to be thinking about and obsessing over, trying to fully feel alternating with trying to not feel so intensely. Those 9/11 affected very closely have lost so much more than I ever have, but part of God's provision in the wake of any loss, any pain or casualty is for a person and a people to have a community to trust, lean upon and just plain be with. Six years ago I was near the start of the Community Economic Development program, and Monday evening, 9/10/2001, we'd had an evening-long seminar on some important topic (I have my CED notes and schedule and could look it up but won't). I'm usually a very early riser but on Tuesday, 9/11/2001 I was tired and slept in for a half-hour, so I turned on the news at about 5:45 Paradise Time, when the 2nd plane had just flown into the 2nd tower. How many times have I picked myself up and kept going despite everything? Lots. But however I parse my own experiences of the past half-dozen years and begin some essential truth-telling I need to admit yes, I did believe the scholarship I got to the CED program literally had redeemed my life so again I'd be serving the world in a way somewhat commensurate with my gifts, skills, education and (yes!) aspirations, but six years later that's not happening, nor have I been able again to find and participate in anything remotely related to a professional or plain ole standard-issue social network.