summer solstice!


Friday, January 01, 2010

Friday 5: Covenants

Friday 5 of the new year and new decade, 01 January 2010, from Sally:

1. I will be happy to leave behind in 2009 my (1) ongoing daily struggles with the compulsive disorder/ behavior that has cost me too much, although history has demonstrated that's unlikely (but of course in the Power of the Spirit it just may happen). (2) I long to leave behind the solitary journey I never anticipated, either. I'll scatter to the winds (3) whatever else God chooses.

2. My biggest challenge for 2010 will be reweaving something like a networked fabric of connections that will lead me to some social, creative and ministry opportunities. I long for the affirmation of people willing to trust me with their lives and interested enough in my story to hear me out, not consider me a threat and be excited about my gifts and encourage my full participation.

3. I need to turn over to God the years of disappointments, of stories starting to be written then erased, the jobs and living situations signed, sealed and delivered then suddenly not there; the living situations and employment signed, sealed and all but delivered then not there, either; dozens of friendships starting to blossom followed by abandonment and isolation; ministry opps I yearned for, prepared for and could taste only to be told, "no!"

4. If I could achieve only one thing in 2010 it would be and it will be... finally finding a community of mutual welcome and mutual embrace.

5. A picture, poem or song that sums up my prayer for the year ahead is...
The Rising

Can't see nothin' in front of me
Can't see nothin' coming up behind
I make my way through this darkness
I can't feel nothing but this chain that binds me
Lost track of how far I've gone
How far I've gone, how high I've climbed
On my back's a sixty pound stone
On my shoulder a half mile line

Come on up for the rising
Come on up, lay your hands in mine
Come on up for the rising
Come on up for the rising tonight

Left the house this morning
Bells ringing filled the air
Wearin' the cross of my calling
On wheels of fire I come rollin' down here

Come on up for the rising
Come on up, lay your hands in mine
Come on up for the rising
Come on up for the rising tonight

Spirits above and behind me
Faces gone, black eyes burnin' bright
May their precious blood forever bind me
Lord as I stand before your fiery light

I see you Mary in the garden
In the garden of a thousand sighs
There's holy pictures of our children
Dancin' in a sky filled with light
May I feel your arms around me
May I feel your blood mix with mine
A dream of life comes to me
Like a catfish dancin' on the end of the line

Sky of blackness and sorrow (a dream of life)
Sky of love, sky of tears (a dream of life)
Sky of glory and sadness (a dream of life)
Sky of mercy, sky of fear (a dream of life)
Sky of memory and shadow (a dream of life)
Your burnin' wind fills my arms tonight
Sky of longing and emptiness (a dream of life)
Sky of fullness, sky of blessed life (a dream of life)

Come on up for the rising
Come on up, lay your hands in mine
Come on up for the rising
Come on up for the rising tonight

© Bruce Springsteen (ASCAP)

Friday, September 25, 2009

autumnal 5

autumnal 5 on the revgals

I love SingingOwl's intro:
There is something so nostalgic about this time of year, at least in the Northern Hemisphere. The nights grow cooler, crops are harvested, for some of us the leaves are beginning to change colors. The scent of smoke is in the air, pumpkins are in the stores (or on wagons, or in roadside stands for those of us in the country). I'm thinking of putting away my summer clothes and pulling out the sweaters. And I have a tub of Fall-themed items that my husband just lugged up from the basement. I'm looking for my scarecrow.
And I have a scarecrow, too! I bought it at one of the Christmas Tree Shops on Cape Cod and it is so cute it stays in a living room corner all year round.

1. So many memories of the falling time of the year, but maybe especially taking a trek to Lexington and Concord, Massachusetts or to Julian, California to buy pumpkins and apples along the way and probably enjoy a hearty lunch or dinner at our destination, too. Remembering and anticipating Autumn smells like apple pies, crisps, and cobblers.

I also truly love going back to school rituals of buying clothes, notebooks, papers, pens, pencils and other supplies and the way it always feels like the new beginning it truly is.

2. I love corduroy pants (typically jean-styled) and skirts, in any and all colors, but especially camel, brown, rust and burgundy. Sweaters, too, ideally bright or intense multicolors. I do not care for the convention of switching to dark, sober, somber hues when the days grow colder and shorter and still for the life of me do not understand why or even when almost everyone started wearing so much black so much of the time, even in high summer and even at weddings. Did they or do they imagine black makes them look thinner and smaller? About favorite fall clothes, in New England and in the Intermountain West I loved knowing I had to have a warm jacket or parka on hand for the cold mornings that inevitably would arrive.

3. Campfire experiences camping out with a tent-trailer, occasionally in a rented cabin with friends or youth groups almost all year round, but in the fall was particularly fun because of the need to be sure we stayed warm enough. There always were plentiful nature trails and places to ride our bicycles along with meals that warmed us up and always were especially delicious and nourishing and filling.

4. Favorite thing again has to be the sense of new beginnings that in many ways functions like Easter, a feast of resurrected new life more halfway through the liturgical year though not quite to Advent yet, but I also love the way Advent begins during the season of autumn in the northern hemisphere.

5. What changes am I anticipating at this seasonal and calendrical marker? Something has to change and I cannot do life on my own, though of necessity I've been trying to do so.

Bonus: for an autumn food, it has to be anything apple and/or pumpkin, preferably baked, ideally with a crust.

Let us fear the LORD our God, who gives autumn and spring rains in season, who assures us of the regular weeks of harvest. Jeremiah 5:23b

Thanks SingingOwl and thanks, Jeremiah!

Friday, September 04, 2009

recharged/recharging 5

recharged / recharging 5 on the revgals

today Sally has given us 5 to she wonders, "what/ who gives you energy?"

1. it has been far too long since any person or community who encourages me and celebrates my presence and gifts has been in my life...I'm in deep waters no human can navigate alone. Although I consistently come out as a moderate E on the Kiersey/Myers Briggs, I believe I'm really an X who sources both in- and externally, but without having confidence people who know me and trust me with their own lives are there for me, I'm finding being alone with my own pain and isolation increasingly intolerable.

2. music from J.S. Bach, the 5th evangelist, as well as Beethoven (I've blogged this lots of times), especially symphonies 1, 2, 4 and 7. And oh, I love playing his piano sonatas, though I'm still stuck at 27 of the 32 total. However, most of the time I turn on the radio to enjoy some oldies and some current songs.

3. regarding scripture, it's not so much stories that bring me hope, refreshment and encouragement, but many of the psalms and Paul, particularly Romans.

4. these days it would have to be a bracing walk, though in times past I used to love passing time with friends, wherever, whenever. But what else? Worship! Many Sundays and most Wednesday evenings I've been worshiping with an ELCA congregation whose style we'd call evangelical catholic. The church's historic liturgy, reflectively performed by an assembly that clearly desires and chooses to be there and when we celebrate eucharist, proclamation of the gospel completely devoid of cute stories and anecdotes has become very healing for me, though I'm well aware of my continuing search for a congregation where I can participate reasonably to the extent of my gifts, education and experience (and no, despite everything, I still have no regrets whatsoever about not continuing in authorized ministry).

5. at this moment I need recharging to such an extreme degree I never would or could have imagined anyone could reach this point, but I am happy to write a prayer "to finish this weeks Friday Five...."
Holy God, You have chosen to come to us in brokenness and You have chosen the brokenness of the cross as Your fullest self-revelation. You created all the universes, yet You know each of us and choose each one of us as the paradoxical vessel of Your continuing Self-revelation. But at the same time You call and draw us into community where we can be honoured and cherished, participate and grow. In these years and hours in which I need to acknowledge the pieces still have not come together and rewoven, more than anything else, I beg, please, entreat and implore You to show me the community of Your current choice for me.

In Jesus' name...amen!

Friday, August 14, 2009

wild animal 5

wild animal 5 on the revgals site

mompriest asks, "For this Friday Five, share with us a wild animal story from your life. Or if you've never had such an encounter share with us your five favorite animals, and why. Bonus for videos and photos!"

and I'm lovin' this one; I've experienced no wild animal encounters that I can recall, but I have a lot of favorite critters, so here's a sampling:

1. big cats beauty, mystery, variety, independence, dignity, a sense of self beholden to no one...

2. little cats beauty, mystery, variety, independence, dignity, a sense of self beholden to no one...

3. giraffes style, quirkiness, speechlessness...

4. elephants intelligence, socialness, expressiveness...

5. horses beauty, heart, loyalty, mystery...

Thursday, July 16, 2009

50 fun things

1. a new notebook
2. InDesign CS4
3. #ffcc66
4. a flurry of country colors
5. Santa Ana winds
6. patchwork quilts
7. beach sand
8. prairies and plains
9. [especially camel] corduroy
10. daybreak

11. painted furniture
12. fireworks!
13. blackberries [and the brambles that hold them]
14. vanilla
15. cooper black
16. fajita burritos
17. mechanical action organs
18. brightly decorated stoneware
19. cmd + z
20. flip-flops

21. cotton cargos [pants, shorts and skirts]
22. desert southwest
23. rhubarb cobbler
follow your heart
24. first light
25. excellent exegesis
26. Beethoven sonatas
27. crashing waves
28. fresh creamery butter
29. big cats
30. little cats

31. sunrise
32. varalaksami threads
33. colorblocked anything
34. french horn
35. coconut pineapple ice cream
36. dial soap
37. warm winter sweaters
38. Utah
39. salad!
40. new beginnings

41. helvetica bold
42. nachos
43. "how crayolas are made"
44. espaghettis
45. red sox nation!
46. gmail themes
47. cucumbers! make my salads and sandwiches taste so fresh
48. dawn
49. vespers: magnificat
50. city lights