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Friday, September 04, 2009

recharged/recharging 5

recharged / recharging 5 on the revgals

today Sally has given us 5 to consider...as she wonders, "what/ who gives you energy?"

1. it has been far too long since any person or community who encourages me and celebrates my presence and gifts has been in my life...I'm in deep waters no human can navigate alone. Although I consistently come out as a moderate E on the Kiersey/Myers Briggs, I believe I'm really an X who sources both in- and externally, but without having confidence people who know me and trust me with their own lives are there for me, I'm finding being alone with my own pain and isolation increasingly intolerable.

2. music from J.S. Bach, the 5th evangelist, as well as Beethoven (I've blogged this lots of times), especially symphonies 1, 2, 4 and 7. And oh, I love playing his piano sonatas, though I'm still stuck at 27 of the 32 total. However, most of the time I turn on the radio to enjoy some oldies and some current songs.

3. regarding scripture, it's not so much stories that bring me hope, refreshment and encouragement, but many of the psalms and Paul, particularly Romans.

4. these days it would have to be a bracing walk, though in times past I used to love passing time with friends, wherever, whenever. But what else? Worship! Many Sundays and most Wednesday evenings I've been worshiping with an ELCA congregation whose style we'd call evangelical catholic. The church's historic liturgy, reflectively performed by an assembly that clearly desires and chooses to be there and when we celebrate eucharist, proclamation of the gospel completely devoid of cute stories and anecdotes has become very healing for me, though I'm well aware of my continuing search for a congregation where I can participate reasonably to the extent of my gifts, education and experience (and no, despite everything, I still have no regrets whatsoever about not continuing in authorized ministry).

5. at this moment I need recharging to such an extreme degree I never would or could have imagined anyone could reach this point, but I am happy to write a prayer "to finish this weeks Friday Five...."
Holy God, You have chosen to come to us in brokenness and You have chosen the brokenness of the cross as Your fullest self-revelation. You created all the universes, yet You know each of us and choose each one of us as the paradoxical vessel of Your continuing Self-revelation. But at the same time You call and draw us into community where we can be honoured and cherished, participate and grow. In these years and hours in which I need to acknowledge the pieces still have not come together and rewoven, more than anything else, I beg, please, entreat and implore You to show me the community of Your current choice for me.

In Jesus' name...amen!

2 comments:

Mary Beth said...

So glad you played today! Getting in the game...It helps me to do that.

Sophia said...

Came to see today's play, which was fun, and saw this profound prayer. Uniting with you that Godde will make a way out of no way....Remember how precious you are and how lucky the right community will be to have you.