Friday 5: Covenants

Friday 5 of the new year and new decade, 01 January 2010, from Sally:

1. I will be happy to leave behind in 2009 my (1) ongoing daily struggles with the compulsive disorder/ behavior that has cost me too much, although history has demonstrated that's unlikely (but of course in the Power of the Spirit it just may happen). (2) I long to leave behind the solitary journey I never anticipated, either. I'll scatter to the winds (3) whatever else God chooses.

2. My biggest challenge for 2010 will be reweaving something like a networked fabric of connections that will lead me to some social, creative and ministry opportunities. I long for the affirmation of people willing to trust me with their lives and interested enough in my story to hear me out, not consider me a threat and be excited about my gifts and encourage my full participation.

3. I need to turn over to God the years of disappointments, of stories starting to be written then erased, the jobs and living situations signed, sealed and delivered then suddenly not there; the living situations and employment signed, sealed and all but delivered then not there, either; dozens of friendships starting to blossom followed by abandonment and isolation; ministry opps I yearned for, prepared for and could taste only to be told, "no!"

4. If I could achieve only one thing in 2010 it would be and it will be... finally finding a community of mutual welcome and mutual embrace.

5. A picture, poem or song that sums up my prayer for the year ahead is...

The Rising

Can't see nothin' in front of me
Can't see nothin' coming up behind
I make my way through this darkness
I can't feel nothing but this chain that binds me
Lost track of how far I've gone
How far I've gone, how high I've climbed
On my back's a sixty pound stone
On my shoulder a half mile line

Come on up for the rising
Come on up, lay your hands in mine
Come on up for the rising
Come on up for the rising tonight

Left the house this morning
Bells ringing filled the air
Wearin' the cross of my calling
On wheels of fire I come rollin' down here

Come on up for the rising
Come on up, lay your hands in mine
Come on up for the rising
Come on up for the rising tonight

Spirits above and behind me
Faces gone, black eyes burnin' bright
May their precious blood forever bind me
Lord as I stand before your fiery light

I see you Mary in the garden
In the garden of a thousand sighs
There's holy pictures of our children
Dancin' in a sky filled with light
May I feel your arms around me
May I feel your blood mix with mine
A dream of life comes to me
Like a catfish dancin' on the end of the line

Sky of blackness and sorrow (a dream of life)
Sky of love, sky of tears (a dream of life)
Sky of glory and sadness (a dream of life)
Sky of mercy, sky of fear (a dream of life)
Sky of memory and shadow (a dream of life)
Your burnin' wind fills my arms tonight
Sky of longing and emptiness (a dream of life)
Sky of fullness, sky of blessed life (a dream of life)

Come on up for the rising
Come on up, lay your hands in mine
Come on up for the rising
Come on up for the rising tonight


© Bruce Springsteen (ASCAP)

desert spirit's fire!: poetry party 41

desert spirit's fire!: poetry party 41

desert spirit's fire!: favorite music 5

desert spirit's fire!: favorite music 5

autumnal 5

autumnal 5 on the revgals

I love SingingOwl's intro:

There is something so nostalgic about this time of year, at least in the Northern Hemisphere. The nights grow cooler, crops are harvested, for some of us the leaves are beginning to change colors. The scent of smoke is in the air, pumpkins are in the stores (or on wagons, or in roadside stands for those of us in the country). I'm thinking of putting away my summer clothes and pulling out the sweaters. And I have a tub of Fall-themed items that my husband just lugged up from the basement. I'm looking for my scarecrow.

And I have a scarecrow, too! I bought it at one of the Christmas Tree Shops on Cape Cod and it is so cute it stays in a living room corner all year round.

1. So many memories of the falling time of the year, but maybe especially taking a trek to Lexington and Concord, Massachusetts or to Julian, California to buy pumpkins and apples along the way and probably enjoy a hearty lunch or dinner at our destination, too. Remembering and anticipating Autumn smells like apple pies, crisps, and cobblers.

I also truly love going back to school rituals of buying clothes, notebooks, papers, pens, pencils and other supplies and the way it always feels like the new beginning it truly is.

2. I love corduroy pants (typically jean-styled) and skirts, in any and all colors, but especially camel, brown, rust and burgundy. Sweaters, too, ideally bright or intense multicolors. I do not care for the convention of switching to dark, sober, somber hues when the days grow colder and shorter and still for the life of me do not understand why or even when almost everyone started wearing so much black so much of the time, even in high summer and even at weddings. Did they or do they imagine black makes them look thinner and smaller? About favorite fall clothes, in New England and in the Intermountain West I loved knowing I had to have a warm jacket or parka on hand for the cold mornings that inevitably would arrive.

3. Campfire experiences camping out with a tent-trailer, occasionally in a rented cabin with friends or youth groups almost all year round, but in the fall was particularly fun because of the need to be sure we stayed warm enough. There always were plentiful nature trails and places to ride our bicycles along with meals that warmed us up and always were especially delicious and nourishing and filling.

4. Favorite thing again has to be the sense of new beginnings that in many ways functions like Easter, a feast of resurrected new life more halfway through the liturgical year though not quite to Advent yet, but I also love the way Advent begins during the season of autumn in the northern hemisphere.

5. What changes am I anticipating at this seasonal and calendrical marker? Something has to change and I cannot do life on my own, though of necessity I've been trying to do so.

Bonus: for an autumn food, it has to be anything apple and/or pumpkin, preferably baked, ideally with a crust.

Let us fear the LORD our God, who gives autumn and spring rains in season, who assures us of the regular weeks of harvest. Jeremiah 5:23b

Thanks SingingOwl and thanks, Jeremiah!

recharged/recharging 5

recharged / recharging 5 on the revgals

today Sally has given us 5 to consider...as she wonders, "what/ who gives you energy?"

1. it has been far too long since any person or community who encourages me and celebrates my presence and gifts has been in my life...I'm in deep waters no human can navigate alone. Although I consistently come out as a moderate E on the Kiersey/Myers Briggs, I believe I'm really an X who sources both in- and externally, but without having confidence people who know me and trust me with their own lives are there for me, I'm finding being alone with my own pain and isolation increasingly intolerable.

2. music from J.S. Bach, the 5th evangelist, as well as Beethoven (I've blogged this lots of times), especially symphonies 1, 2, 4 and 7. And oh, I love playing his piano sonatas, though I'm still stuck at 27 of the 32 total. However, most of the time I turn on the radio to enjoy some oldies and some current songs.

3. regarding scripture, it's not so much stories that bring me hope, refreshment and encouragement, but many of the psalms and Paul, particularly Romans.

4. these days it would have to be a bracing walk, though in times past I used to love passing time with friends, wherever, whenever. But what else? Worship! Many Sundays and most Wednesday evenings I've been worshiping with an ELCA congregation whose style we'd call evangelical catholic. The church's historic liturgy, reflectively performed by an assembly that clearly desires and chooses to be there and when we celebrate eucharist, proclamation of the gospel completely devoid of cute stories and anecdotes has become very healing for me, though I'm well aware of my continuing search for a congregation where I can participate reasonably to the extent of my gifts, education and experience (and no, despite everything, I still have no regrets whatsoever about not continuing in authorized ministry).

5. at this moment I need recharging to such an extreme degree I never would or could have imagined anyone could reach this point, but I am happy to write a prayer "to finish this weeks Friday Five...."

Holy God, You have chosen to come to us in brokenness and You have chosen the brokenness of the cross as Your fullest self-revelation. You created all the universes, yet You know each of us and choose each one of us as the paradoxical vessel of Your continuing Self-revelation. But at the same time You call and draw us into community where we can be honoured and cherished, participate and grow. In these years and hours in which I need to acknowledge the pieces still have not come together and rewoven, more than anything else, I beg, please, entreat and implore You to show me the community of Your current choice for me.

In Jesus' name...amen!

wild animal 5

wild animal 5 on the revgals site

mompriest asks, "For this Friday Five, share with us a wild animal story from your life. Or if you've never had such an encounter share with us your five favorite animals, and why. Bonus for videos and photos!"

and I'm lovin' this one; I've experienced no wild animal encounters that I can recall, but I have a lot of favorite critters, so here's a sampling:

1. big cats beauty, mystery, variety, independence, dignity, a sense of self beholden to no one...

2. little cats beauty, mystery, variety, independence, dignity, a sense of self beholden to no one...

3. giraffes style, quirkiness, speechlessness...

4. elephants intelligence, socialness, expressiveness...

5. horses beauty, heart, loyalty, mystery...

50 fun things

1. a new notebook
2. InDesign CS4
3. #ffcc66
4. a flurry of country colors
5. Santa Ana winds
6. patchwork quilts
7. beach sand
8. prairies and plains
9. [especially camel] corduroy
10. daybreak

11. painted furniture
12. fireworks!
13. blackberries [and the brambles that hold them]
14. vanilla
15. cooper black
16. fajita burritos
17. mechanical action organs
18. brightly decorated stoneware
19. cmd + z
20. flip-flops

21. cotton cargos [pants, shorts and skirts]
22. desert southwest
23. rhubarb cobbler

24. first light
25. excellent exegesis
26. Beethoven sonatas
27. crashing waves
28. fresh creamery butter
29. big cats
30. little cats

31. sunrise
32. varalaksami threads
33. colorblocked anything
34. french horn
35. coconut pineapple ice cream
36. dial soap
37. warm winter sweaters
38. Utah
39. salad!
40. new beginnings

41. helvetica bold
42. nachos
43. "how crayolas are made"
44. espaghettis
45. red sox nation!
46. gmail themes
47. cucumbers! make my salads and sandwiches taste so fresh
48. dawn
49. vespers: magnificat
50. city lights

soundtracks of our lives 5

soundtracks of our lives 5 on the RevGals site

Mary Beth brings us today's timely talkin' 'bout topic:

"The sad news of Michael Jackson's untimely death has me thinking about music and its effects on us - individually, as cultures, as generations. Let's think about the soundtracks of our lives..."

1) as a child I mostly heard standard-issue classical and top 40 playing in the background, nothing especially esoteric.

2) no particular song says "high school" when I hear it, but sort of on my own I'd started listening to music that had an edge of social consciousness as well as that era's top 40 and alternative music. by then studio recording was making huge and imaginative advances! it's too early to think of any title at the moment, but you get the idea. in high school I also started serious piano lessons...

3) my favorite music lift me up from a down day tends to be either something profound like a Beethoven Symphony (esp 1, 2, 4 or 7) or an energetic oldie like Dire Straits' "Walk of Life" or Huey Lewis and the News' "Power of Love." The von Karajan Beethoven performances seem to have stayed on YouTube despite the newer policy of shorter videos and due to the way favorites keep disappearing I'm not linking to my current Walk of Life or Power of Love fave, but you get the idea.

4) just one, only a single favorite performer of all time? a few: Tracy Chapman, Jewel Kilcher, Boston Symphony Orchestra...

5) my favorite style of music for worship remains just about everything with the exceptions of most 19th century hymnody and the usually popular tunes of Taizé. For my bonus I'm linking to this vid that has been rocking my world every since I first heard it. The Northwest Missouri State University Tower Choir...

Let Everything that hath Breath, Praise the Lord!

"you and I must make a pact; we must bring salvation back - just call my name and I'll be there..."

5 about moving and changing

moving and changing on the revgals...

This is from Sally, and I'm taking it as being about moving house and I'm writing in pentecostal red for the fire that purifies along with the wind that blows out the old, brings in the new. I love to move! On one Friday 5 one of the questions was how many times we'd moved and I've done it lots.

1. one thing (only one?) I cannot possibly part with is...my stack of academic transcripts and letters of call. But there also are quite a few dishes and decorations I'd absolutely have to take with me, too.

2. for a gladly leave behind I'll choose the bathroom towels that have been washed lots of times and faded too much to look fresh. Also, replacing them is not very expensive, making giving them away to the local vet an excellent choice (they go through lots and lots and bleach them every time they wash them, so they always welcome more).

3. to prepare for a move, my

a.practical tactics include list, list, and more lists. Deciding and acquiring more boxes and packing material than I think I'll need. Label everything carefully, too. When I moved from City of History to the Intermountain West I used a professional mover, but my scheme still was almost the same.
b. and the spiritual emotional lists, lists, and even more lists.

4. in a new place I first try to find locally owned, less-expensive restaurants; the nearest mall, and the library. Go outside and walk randomly; go for a drive and check out the lay of the land, get accustomed to this new to me territory.

5. typically I settle in easily and take a whole lot of time to get acclimated. For an example of this both/and...I love the excitement of acquiring the few things you always seem to need in a new place, rediscovering a few things I'd almost forgotten I had, waking up in a new place and tweaking my morning routine and rearranging new to me spaces. However, I also tend to be almost consumed or at least concerned by memories of the place I recently lived and just left.

poetry party 35: light and shadow

poetry party 36


comment: this actually is Christine's poetry party 36; my numbering was incorrect because I'd forgotten I hadn't played last time.

Abbey of the Arts Invitation to Poetry: poetry party 36

Christine asks us to consider, "In the brilliant light of days growing longer, what do we encounter in the shadows that may have been hidden to us before? What do you discover in the interplay between shadow and light?"

lights, brights, shadows, opaques...

as an artist
every day I consider degrees of
opacity transparency
shimmers of revelation
to include in each design project
80% opacity or
20% transparency
and which colors to use

as a person
every day I consider
degrees of transparency and opacity
to present to the world
80% opacity or 20% translucence
a colorless hint of an outline of a self-revealing

but sometimes grace intervenes
spirits away the shadows
and I show far more
than intended
and the end result is just fine

bug life 5

a bug's life friday 5 on the RevGals site

everyone knows about timeliness and timelessness, and Sophia introduces today's 5 by recollecting:

As I was walking the beach today, I was surprised and delighted to find it swarming with ladybugs. The sweet little red beetles are one of my favorite insects and also my daughter's blogname...In that spirit, this week's Friday Five is a magical mystery tour through God's garden of creepy crawlies!

Here's my almost insta-play for today:

1. I'm not sure if I use any particular regional terminology, but I was born in the Deep South and essentially grew up in New England with grandparents raised in Michigan and Mississippi, who often referred to farms they'd had in Nebraska and North Carolina, so lately I've been wondering how on earth they got to New England. Therefore, Ladybugs and Pillbugs and this is the first time I've heard about Jesus bugs or water skeeters.
2. spiders I can't peacefully co-exist with get transported outside.
3. butterflies and ladybugs and dragonflies are my favorite insects for today.
4. least favorite? none...ummm...better make that "cockroaches." My grandmother clearly let me know about the complex and essential interrelatedness and interdependence of all creation.
5. good bug stories and anecdotes! For starters, today I'm wearing ladybug earrings. Also, although I last saw my apparently recently-deceased biological father when I was about 5, he had a PhD in entomology and worked as an entomologist for the US Forest Service. My aforementioned grandmother, one of the more curious, knowledgeable and well-informed people I've ever known was 8th grade educated but frequently said she would have become an entomologist if she'd had an opportunity to continue her education. My final vignette is bitter memories of the gorgeous, complex bug project I worked so hard on in HS biology and that the teacher insisted on holding on to almost forever. She refused to return anyone's project, but told us if we came back to visit in 10 years or so she might give them back.

I think that response also qualifies for an answer to the Bonus question: share a poem, song, quotation, etc. about insects.

poetry party 34: illustrated!